Mid Winter Blues

Well, it has hit in a big way.

Once the buzz of the new year wears off, it's really difficult to keep up motivation to be active and enthusiastic when the days are short and dark, the weather is cold and gloomy, and most of the large projects that I started last year are finished, but new projects seem like insurmountable obstacles.  It's mid-winter in Michigan, and it ain't pretty.

To summarize my life for the past few weeks:

We had a mouse in our house, which is fine... I am not a scream and gather-your-skirts kinda gal... but it makes me worried.  Is our house secretly filthy?  Or is it just old and a bit creaky, with plenty of room to get in for an enterprising rodent or two?  Either way, Mr. Mouse was beat up pretty bad by Cat and Dog, and we haven't seen him since... hopefully he learned his lesson.

Alternately watching Supernatural and playing Zelda leads to some weird, not particularly restful dreams.

A vampire bat.

Dog is much better to have around the house when he gets his morning walk, or "reads the doggy news."  We are working on "heel" right now... it's a process, but for once I am grateful that I have such a food-motivated beast.

Playing Guitar Hero with my parents is surprisingly fun.

Huggems Day Festivities

I am becoming more wonderful thanks to Pinterest and free printables.  Also, I need more ink.  But most of my food in my cupboards is repackaged and has cute labels on it!  Also, I have a fabulous new yarn wreath and am having a contest with myself to see how many friendship bracelets I can make in the mornings by the end of the year.  So far I have two, but it's a pretty recent contest.  Also, I am growing scallions in my windowsill thanks to a pinned tip, and I feel like a pioneer, even though I am just putting grocery-bought scallion ends in some water and aqua beads in the windowsill of my modern, heated home.

I think this week I would like to get organized for spring cleaning.  I am looking forward to spring, being outside, and hopefully getting the garden in over spring break.  I am sick of being cooped up, and REALLY want to open the windows.  Except it's 30 degrees outside.

All the babies and children in my life make me happy.  Also, I accidentally convinced my 5-year-old nephew that he witnessed a stabbing when I took him to see a play a few weeks ago, and he definitely told everyone he knows about it.  I still haven't met miss Josie, and she is getting so old now!  But I had a lot of fun visiting with friends Hali and Aaron and their adorable daughter Soffi a few nights ago, and hopefully we can keep our Sunday dinners a semi-regular occurring.

Husband and Nephew

I am going to be the kind of person who always brings a little gift, who has kind words to say, who is silent when need be, who sees the good in everything, who throws amazing get-togethers, who wants to do fun things.  It's going to happen.  Because Spring is coming!

The first day that it was still light out when I got out of work!

Adventures in Eating...

A survivalist friend of mine spent a couple of months in the Upper Peninsula woods living in a tent.  When he came back to civilization I was naturally curious as to how all of that time was spent - no phone, no internet, no TV...  He told me that he spent most of his time revolving around the obtaining, preparation, and eating of food.  Hunting, making baskets and pots, cooking... it takes up a lot of time, and I am sure that is how our ancestors lived every day of their lives.  Now I am not someone who villifies our modern conveniences (which would be silly since I am writing this on a blog right now), but I do think that even in this day and age, what and how we choose to eat says a lot about us.  For the past couple of years, food has stayed on my mind in one way or the other.  I do all of the shopping and cooking for our family, and so what goes into our mouths is completely in my domain.  I dabbled in vegetarianism a few years ago (as so many of my generation did).  I have researched into organic foods and thought about becoming a locavore (not easy in a place with 4 months of snow).  I started using my local farmer's market and growing some herbs and veggies on my city lot.

I won't profess to be an expert.  There's a lot of stuff out there about food, and there are little grains of truth in everything.  I like what the bible has to say about food:  "It is not what goes in to a man's mouth, but what comes out of his mouth that makes him holy."  This tells us to not be too caught up in what we eat, because it is all temporary and meant to fuel more important things.  But God did give us taste buds and a sense of taste, so it must be a good thing to get pleasure out of eating.  I like the French philosophies about eating - French cooking is known to be rich and decadent, but they eat small portions and savor each bite.  I love how Spanish culture thinks of food as a social event, something to be shared with family and friends.  I admire Asian culture, and the way that Buddhism affects thought about food - careful and moderate eating of quality foods.  I agree with vegans and vegetarians about the abhorrent conditions of the American Agro-Industrail complex.  Perhaps the people I fall in line with most when thinking about food are the new wave farmers - animals have the right to live good full lives, produce should be fresh and local, people should know where thier food comes from.  Eating is by nature killing, but it doesn't have to be torture.

Ideally, Husband and I would have our own small-scale farm.  I have dreams and plans for that, but it's a long way away, and I jut have to live vicariously through Jenna and Cold Antler Farm, among others.  For now, here are the various ways I have combined all of these beliefs and more into what seems to be working for us.  You could call it the Modern-American-Socially-Conscious-Busy-Lifestyle-on-a-Budget Diet.

Source: docs.google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

First off, if you go out to eat more than once a week, stop.  Even McDonalds is a lot more expensive than the most expensive burgers at the store (I love Morningstar Farm's Spicy Black Bean Burgers - about $3 for four of them, and that's pretty pricey.)  Because we have a relatively comfortable budget, we treat ourselves to a date night or lunch out once a week.  We eat at restaurants that are not chains unless friends suggest them.  This is a great way to get to know your community better and keep your money in the area, too!  Find out if restaurants source local foods... many do, and maybe more will if they get enough people asking.   I try to look at eating out as a treat done with others - I get what I want to eat, within reason.  When you do go out, get water instead of soda.  OR go out specifically for soda (I like diet soda and refuse to give it up.)  I try to never keep it in the house, though, so I have to go for a walk or bike ride to get it.

Plan ahead dinner-wise - especially when you're starting to eat more perishable goods like fruits and veggies, don't pick them up on a whim or get overexcited.  I did that all last year, and our compost bin bulged with all of the excess fruits and veggies that were not eaten by good intentions.  See if there is a place that lets you buy things individually instead of packaged - Kroger allows you to bag your own spinach, so I can get a couple of cups of it instead of the huge bag for $4 that most stores carry.  Shop local and farmer's markets when you can - but I know that some of the big-city markets can be REALLY expensive because they are so trendy.  Maybe try some Asian or Latino markets?  Again, learn your community... shopping at locally owned stores is good for everyone involved...

Source: docs.google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Find a balance that works for your particular eating habits.  For me, I have found a pretty good balance with eating a small healthy breakfast, healthy lunch, reasonable snacks (tortilla chips and yogurt, hummus and pita - I am a snacker, so just cutting out chips and cheeses for snacks is making a big difference.), and a normal dinner that uses maybe more veggies then I am used to.  I have a couple of family recipes that I have started throwing frozen broccoli into (LOVE it, lasts so much longer than fresh.  I always use frozen veggies as stand by sides and only buy fresh when I know exactly what I am going to do with them, and they last for a couple of months and are CHEAP.)  I have some really good recipes that are tasty and relatively healthy.

Find recipes you love.  If you can find something you love, you can sneak it in to the husband without him even noticing, and then you don't have to worry about having a big "we need to get healthy" conversation.

Source: docs.google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Go meatless.  We have started to go meatless for 2 meals a week, partly for social and ecological reasons, but also because it's a LOT cheaper.  We eat seafood another meal of the week, chicken for two meals, and beef or pork for one meal (eating out the other).  I love Quorn products (We now regularly use the "ground beef" in tacos... can't tell the difference in flavor and the texture is more pleasant than beef!)  Beans are so tasty and good for you, and I am loving the veggie stir fries and pastas that are out there.

Source: docs.google.com via Jessica on Pinterest

Wait for sales.  Buy enough meat for 1 or 2 months, then spend the day packaging and marinating it.  It makes the evening meal so much easier because you only have to pull it out, and it marinates while it thaws.

Be frugal.  Eat when you are hungry.  Stop before you are full.  We are lucky to live in a country where there will ALWAYS be more food.  When you get the urge to munch during the day, drink some water.  When you get the urge to munch at night, brush your teeth.  Learn your body, learn your eating habits.

That's all I know so far.  But it seems to be working for me.  Now to get on that exercise train... :)

Whelmed.

Long time no see!  I've been feeling... whelmed recently?  An annoying pattern of listless and unmotivated to feeling the crushing weight of all of the things that I have to do stacking up on top of me.

I'm quitting the School of Music.  It started out as a nice way to get a few extra bucks and work with kids, and quickly became a large stressor and time-pit.  I think I'll be better off working part-time retail or something (something I don't have to care about, because I don't have good boundaries when it comes to work.)  All I know is that when I finally decided to do it, it felt like a huge weight was lifted.

For those of you who don't know, Husband and I live a more traditional lifestyle.  He works and pays the bills, I do odd jobs and take care of the house/animals/future children.  The problem is that the odd jobs (theater, photography, etc.) easily take over and make the housey things take the back burner.  But if Husband is the one paying the bills, and my jobs just make extra money for us, then it's not really fair for me to be putting all of my energy into them long-term.  Now for theater or photography, this works fine.  I can spend a couple of months really invested in a show, or a full day on a photo session.  But for the School, it was becoming something that, in order to do my best at, I was having to spend countless hours working on with no end in sight...

So, making that decision has helped.  I still have a few loose ends to tie up with CCC's show, loan payments and dry cleaning and such.  I'm working on cleaning out the basement and putting my best vintage finds on Etsy, which is also incredibly time-consuming if you want to have a nice shop with good pictures.  During my hiatus the peas all died, and the garden has become quite overgrown.  The carrots seem to be doing well, and the squash is out of control, so this year hasn't been a total bust... but still not what I had hoped for.  We also haven't done any of the household projects yet that we had planned.  It's partially been finances and partially the fact that I can't really do it by myself, and now that Husband is back at the prison his hours are much more rigid.  I need to start planning for the Peanut Gallery show I am directing in the fall, and I am debating auditioning for a show in Saginaw that some friends of mine are directing.  I had several editorial shoots that I really wanted to get done this summer (and time is passing quickly!), and I need to get a website up and running for that.  I think next year in lieu of focusing on CSOM, I will be putting more energies into the photography, making it legit and such.  I do want some sort of outside job, as it is very nice to have extra money, and Husband and I enjoy eating out. 

Sometimes, too, having a social life seems like more a chore than anything else.  Having friends and outside interests has always been a priority for me, but in the post-collegiate world it becomes increasingly harder to manage.  I still have the problem with location - the real friends that we want to hang out with all live 30 min. + away, whereas local friends are usually more tiring.  I'm not a soccer mom type, and I never will be.  I'm not big into celebrities or pulp news, and I don't watch reality TV (well, except ANTM, but we'll just ignore that for the sake of the point.)  I'm not queer about men; this is a difficult one to describe - a local friend of mine recently began dating, and her friends (who are some of the more tiresome people) are so QUEER about it.  Like, "tee-hee, you LIKE him!"  It's ridiculous and embarrassing for all involved.  I've never been one to have "token" friends (I have this AFRICAN AMERICAN friend, you see... One of my BEST FRIENDS is GAY!), and I sort of look down on people who do.  I have many gay friends and several friends who are black, but I am not friends with them because I think it will make my life more like Sex and the City.  I don't name drop.  I don't think that I am more important than I am, nor do I think that this town is so COSMOPOLITAN.  I don't think Pure Romance parties are SO MUCH FUN, and on the other side of it, I am not interested in drinking the night away with toothless hicks at some townie bar on M-20.  This makes relationships difficult to maintain, as there is usually an hour or so travel time involved in hanging out.  I sincerely love having dinners with friends, or just casual visits.  I have this vision in my head of Saturday night dinners where we get together, cook, laugh, drink, and have a good time.  Where our kids grow up together.  I don't think that is such a unobtainable goal.  It just seems increasingly harder to find.

It's just such a balance - working from home can be super exhausting, with no real end in sight.  I can usually handle it better than this, but recently (perhaps due to the unbearable heat as well!) I've just wanted to curl up and wait for it to pass. Moving seems more and more appealing (again - I have such a love-hate relationship with this town).  Oh well.  I'm sure this too shall pass.

-Jess

If I make a goal, who gets the point?

A few weeks ago, a friend told me that he was proud of me.  It was a very odd feeling.  I've always been fiercely individual.  My work ethic tends to lean "nose to the grindstone" as opposed to "squeaky wheel gets the oil."  I often found myself getting passed over for recognition because I don't really seek it.  I am not patting myself on the back, just making an observation - honestly, I have found this to be a weakness in many fields, the inability to sell yourself.

The friend who complimented me works with inner city children in Texas.  He is an art teacher who started his own after school program for at-risk youth.  He just finished his master's degree.

Here I am, one step above a college dropout with a messy ponytail eating a molasses cookie for breakfast blogging at 10:30 in the morning on a weekday.  I don't think I am a poster child for success.

The show opens tonight.  We don't feel ready to me.  Things will be fine - we have some really great actors, and it's a funny script - but I don't feel that this show is up to my standards as a director/producer, and I am disappointed in myself.  I miscast a few people, which I haven't ever done before.  Our time frame was really tight before we had several setbacks, and it's really difficult working with so many volatile personalities (who are all volunteering or donating to us... so the question of how much to demand is always at the back of my mind.)

In all the bustle of the last couple of weeks, I have been neglecting the garden.  (As a side note, I don't know what to call it - urban homestead sounds pretentious and clunky, but garden brings up images of old ladies in sun hats cultivating hydrangeas...)  Some of the herbs are looking downright wilty, and the strawberries are dead and gone.  I'm worried that the cherry tomatoes aren't getting what they need, and the pea trellis needs to be finished NOW.  I have no idea how people manage a full time job and a full time farm (although I do think one full time job would be easier than three creative part time jobs.)

I am frustrated with the Housemate.  He lives like a pig, and the dog keeps getting into his room because he can't seem to figure out how to shut the door after himself.  The last time the dog apparently ate 25 bone-in chicken wings.  He could have died.  He still might. The thought of losing him is scary enough, but the reaction from Housemate was more of anger at the DOG.  The dog can't open doorknobs.  If your room is being accessed, it's because you aren't closing the door all the way.  I hate when people don't just admit that they were wrong and try to be proactive about solutions to the problem.  They have to dance around the issue and try to shirk off blame.  It has been happening in a lot of areas in my life, so this particular instance is really getting to me.

Photography is a joy.  I only hope that I get more business - I worry about expansion.  Everyone oohs and aahs over the pictures, but finding the time in their lives to get their own pictures is another story.  There is something so immensely satisfying about it... maybe it appeals to the organizer in me.  It's like cataloging beauty.  Which probably sounds crazy to anyone who doesn't share my particular mix of right and left brained-ness.

I have been utterly neglecting the school.  I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew.  I am already on shaky ground with my skill level...

And all the while, as part of me is working toward this great sense of community, the other part gets nervous when, say, people at the farmer's market start remembering me, or I see kids from the school out and about.  Part of me likes the anonymity of being backstage - the hard worker that nobody knows about.  I guess it's less pressure.  Once you're out there in the spotlight, it's make it or break it time.

I don't really know what the purpose of this post is.  I guess in my life I am trying to deprogram myself from being so goal oriented.  That sounds odd, as it is what our culture is all about, and I definitely think that micro-goals are important.  But the plain fact is, life isn't a race.  It's not a game, and there are no winners or losers.  We just have to do the best we can with the time we have.

And I don't want to miss anything.

A Happy Post

I figured since I have been in a foul mood the past few days, it was about time for some sunshine - and today agreed with me!  It was mid-60's with pretty puffy clouds...  I had a lovely afternoon with my dearest friend, and finished my book!

Fran always reminds me of one of my favorite artists, Brian Andreas.  I discovered him years ago, and visiting his website never fails to make me smile.  I adore his style, his one or two sentence stories, and even his slightly-creepy angular illustrations.

Here are some favorites:

You're the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we'd know each other a long time.

There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.

I'd like to leave you with something valuable, he said. You probably already have, I said, but we take most of our lives to remember that, even in the best of times

she sang like snowflakes on my tongue, bright & sharp with the forgotten promises of spring

It came on her without thinking that she was the exact age as her mother was & no matter what, it would have been hard to leave & suddenly all the generations gathered around her in that small kitchen & held her close & they would have blocked the light if they had not come filled with their memories of love.

these are all connected in surprising ways, but no one wants to admit it because they couldn't get away with as much stuff

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world

If you were smart, you'd probably spend more time stretching, he said & I said, If I were really smart, I'd probably spend more time just sitting in the shade drinking lemonade

Sometimes blogging seems like so much work...

The page sits in front of you waiting to be filled, the cursor blinks mockingly.

I am typing on a new keyboard that Husband won in a raffle at a LAN party (he is not quite the king of nerds... but he's at least a Duke or something.)  It makes a pleasant sound as I type.

I am making Scalloped Potatoes and Ham for dinner, as we have plenty of potatoes and a little turkey ham that is getting old.  I've never made it before, so we'll see.  I have been in a mood recently.  I find that when I am in the middle of a lot of things for theater, I eat like crap and don't really have energy to do the housey/wifey things that I normally somewhat enjoy.  I think I have officially overcommited myself this spring, and am looking forward to the Delta show being done so I can relax and enjoy the little parts that I have in the other two shows.

I need to make a new house rule: I can do ONE volunteer project a season.  I may have accidentally become one of those people who are involved in everything and are always complaining about their lack of time.

Things that make me feel good:
Photography
Reading
Shopping
Hiking
Music
Cooking
Good Friends
Board Games
Work (usually)
Gardening
Watching shows or movies with Husband
Travel
Design
Playing with Dog
Being in a show that I love
Volunteering
Jesus

Things that make me feel drained:
Costuming
Eating Crap
Politics
Dealing with people that I don't like, or are high drama
TV on All the Time
Constant Cleaning
Being Repetitive
Bad Weather
Internet Fights
Being Lazy
Sleeping too Much
Having too many balls in the air
Restless Dog

Many of my problems are self-created (in fact, all of them but the weather and the constant cleaning... one belongs to colliding weather fronts/God, the other to messy Husband and Housemate.)  When I think of one of the most important things about life, it's to be active.  Not physically (although yes, probably that too), but to take your own life by the wheel and really live it.  It's too easy to be lulled into the day-to-day drudgery... work, home, TV, repeat...

My goal is to kick this week's ass.  It's gonna happen.  :)

Now that The Full Monty is over, I am reflecting on my involvement at the local community theater.

It's quite a beast, and not surprisingly it is abnormally clique-ish... if any of you have ever been to Midland, you will know that that is a feature of this small town with big-city aspirations.   It is also quite unfriendly (not mean or rude, just not really welcoming.)  Nobody seems to acknowledge or care that you are there.  This is also typical of Midland... in fact, the Center is a good sampling of the city as a whole.

To be fair, I am a strange age group for them.  I am a bit younger than most of the established people, and definitely older than the high school/just graduated age group.  We don't have kids, so we don't have that common thread, and many couples with children feel uncomfortable hanging out with couples without children (it's the same with single people and couples.)

This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I perform for my own fulfillment - if I make new friends, great, but it's not my primary goal.  I love having a social life, particularly one that Husband and I can share, but I have plenty of long-distance friends that are very dear to me.  The problem is that I find the whole situation to be rather exhausting - I often have to chuckle at jokes that I am not a part of/do not find funny, and sit through a barrage of name dropping that would shame a courtier at Versailles.  There's a tremendous amount of backstabbing (so much so that, like when I was in high school, there are no defined cliques at all - though people may be friends, they have no qualms doing hurtful things to each other behind backs).  Whether through laziness or honor, I am like my mother - I speak plainly and avoid people I don't like.  I'm not saying I don't gossip, but I definitely try not to say anything behind backs that I wouldn't say to faces.  I find a lack of the genuine tiring, and when I come home I just want to curl up on the couch and watch TV.

When speaking to a local friend about this, she mentioned that her solution was to try and create her own small group of friends who always auditioned together.  I have thought about this... but most of the people that I truly like in the area are in Bay City (or are one of the constant stream of auditioners who rarely get reasonable parts, regardless of talent.)

A few weeks ago I visited a friend in Grand Rapids, and when talking with one of his friends (a new acquaintance,) he asked me about Midland, and I realized that I am not really proud to be living here.  I thought I would be - it's a nice town with great schools, tons of activities (for its size), good jobs, and some really extraordinary places (Farmer's Market, Chippewa Nature Center, LaZeez... I would miss all of these so much if I moved!).  But there is really no arts culture to speak of - probably because most people my age either have moved to larger cities or begun raising families immediately after high school.  There is a tremendous drought of young, enthusiastic people in this city, perhaps also because ART springs from ADVERSITY, and in Midland there really isn't much of that.  Crafters, yes.  Musicians, yes.  But passion... not so much.

I miss DIFFERENCES.  I love meeting people who think and act differently (in fact, many of the people I like at the Center are those who are disliked or mocked by most of the others because they are quirky.)  It's not just racial diversity (although I miss that too), but diversity of thought and action, beliefs.  We can learn so much from people who aren't like us, and we can make ourselves better people.  I love people who are passionate about something, whether that be science or art, economics or literature.  Here I feel like most people I meet are aimless, having families and jobs (even good ones) with no commitment, no decisions.  Is that most lives?  Just a string of events that happen to you until you die?  I reject that - life is more, life is choices and change, ships passing in the night or staying forever.  Life is growth.

Frankly, I think I am living here for my unborn children.  In my head I think I have it that Midland schools are abnormally good, and that there is an abnormal amount of things for a child to do in the area.  Honestly, that may be true (I feel like I had a normal education, and many of my acquaintances and even Husband have told me horror stories about other districts) but it's silly to think of something like that when we aren't pregnant, and probably won't be for a year or two at least.  And honestly, my kids will be MINE... so they probably would have the same problems with this area that I do.

Well, this sort of turned into a rant about Midland as a whole instead of just the MCFTA... but like I said, it is pretty representative of all that this community has to offer.

I guess I am still conflicted about this city, although I have been here for so long, as a teen and an adult...  There are so many great things... but I think ultimately the problem is that, unlike so many depressed areas like Saginaw or blue collar areas like Bay City, Midland doesn't really WANT to change.

There's something wonderful about old friends - they remind you of who you were, and who a part of you still is.

It's a spring day, I am sitting at my computer listening to "The King is Dead" and cuddling with my dog.  I am catching up on blogs and thinking of several friends old and new.  I just got done with an exhausting week of dress rehearsals and shows for The Full Monty: The Broadway Musical... my hair is exhausted from teasing and my eyes are red from constant mascara.  I have another busy week ahead of me, with mask-making, costuming, work, photography, and more shows this weekend...

But for this moment, life is pretty perfect.

Reflections...

Does it seem like as you get older, your world gets smaller?

Perhaps I should explain.  I've been feeling a natural pull toward home recently - theater, cleaning, cooking, yardwork, decorating, photography, playing with kids, doggy parenting, wifey business, and casual visiting with friends and family have pretty much been my life for the past six months.  This is strange, because I feel like I have always been a very outwardly focused person - historically, I love meeting new people, visiting new places.  I was always the friend who would drop everything for an  impromptu trip downstate for a visit.  I would think nothing of driving 2+ hours for a day trip, just because.

I guess I have been feeling a definite pull recently, the sort of pull you get when you are moving into a new phase of your life.  I felt it upon graduation, I felt it after leaving OEE, and I felt it after the move to this small, quirky community.  The problem is, I have NEVER handled change well.  I cling to the familiar long after I should have let go.  I am definitely an earthen-type person - steady, calm (but full of life), slow to move but stubborn once I've reached where I should be.  I think maybe I have let others' opinions of what I should be affect me more than I would like to admit.  When I think of what I really want in life, it reflects a great deal more of craft, home, and hearth then it does glamour and nightlife.  If one of my friends were telling me this, I would be fully supportive... life is a series of stops on a road, not a highway after all.  But why is it that my heart is so resistant to the idea of that life for myself?

I am too focused on others.  I have always lived vicariously through my more dramatic acquaintances.  It's like I want to have it all - a lovely comfy home, wild and exciting travel, massive parties and small meals with friends.  It's this dichotomy that has ALWAYS been frustrating for me - if I had a goal, I could aim for it.  "My heart seeks the hearth.  My feet seek the road.  A soul so divided is a terrible load."  --Bruce Coville

The post-holidays winter has always felt like a bit of a chrysalis for me.  Our Michigan winters are famous for being long, dark, and bitterly cold.  They are the perfect time to pause, reflect, and curl up under a cozy blanket with a husband and some furry friends.  When the spring finally arrives, I guess we'll see what emerges.

"Wanderer Above The Sea of Fog" by Caspar David Friedrich

I looove the Farmer's Market...

 

 There's something so inspiring to me about small-scale farmers.  What a scary, rewarding, difficult, interesting way of life.  I feel like they've picked up on something we've all missed - closeness to the land.  When I was working outdoor education , I used to be so in tune with the seasons.  Outside, rain or shine, snow or heat!  Now that people are creating artificial habitats for themselves, what are the consequences?  We live in a land of concrete and metal, and sometimes I'll go a whole day without going outside except for a walk to the car.  What do we miss out on, never touching the earth or seeing the sky?

One day we'll find the land we've been looking for.  Rodney will find another secure job, and we'll start our own little farm.  If you're interested in this sort of thing like I am, I can't reccommend this book enough!  It's full of amazing information on recapturing lost traditional skills, from building your own cabin to pioneer crafts...

Until then, though, I'll have to make do with an occasional stint to the Farmer's Market.