Now that The Full Monty is over, I am reflecting on my involvement at the local community theater.

It's quite a beast, and not surprisingly it is abnormally clique-ish... if any of you have ever been to Midland, you will know that that is a feature of this small town with big-city aspirations.   It is also quite unfriendly (not mean or rude, just not really welcoming.)  Nobody seems to acknowledge or care that you are there.  This is also typical of Midland... in fact, the Center is a good sampling of the city as a whole.

To be fair, I am a strange age group for them.  I am a bit younger than most of the established people, and definitely older than the high school/just graduated age group.  We don't have kids, so we don't have that common thread, and many couples with children feel uncomfortable hanging out with couples without children (it's the same with single people and couples.)

This isn't necessarily a bad thing.  I perform for my own fulfillment - if I make new friends, great, but it's not my primary goal.  I love having a social life, particularly one that Husband and I can share, but I have plenty of long-distance friends that are very dear to me.  The problem is that I find the whole situation to be rather exhausting - I often have to chuckle at jokes that I am not a part of/do not find funny, and sit through a barrage of name dropping that would shame a courtier at Versailles.  There's a tremendous amount of backstabbing (so much so that, like when I was in high school, there are no defined cliques at all - though people may be friends, they have no qualms doing hurtful things to each other behind backs).  Whether through laziness or honor, I am like my mother - I speak plainly and avoid people I don't like.  I'm not saying I don't gossip, but I definitely try not to say anything behind backs that I wouldn't say to faces.  I find a lack of the genuine tiring, and when I come home I just want to curl up on the couch and watch TV.

When speaking to a local friend about this, she mentioned that her solution was to try and create her own small group of friends who always auditioned together.  I have thought about this... but most of the people that I truly like in the area are in Bay City (or are one of the constant stream of auditioners who rarely get reasonable parts, regardless of talent.)

A few weeks ago I visited a friend in Grand Rapids, and when talking with one of his friends (a new acquaintance,) he asked me about Midland, and I realized that I am not really proud to be living here.  I thought I would be - it's a nice town with great schools, tons of activities (for its size), good jobs, and some really extraordinary places (Farmer's Market, Chippewa Nature Center, LaZeez... I would miss all of these so much if I moved!).  But there is really no arts culture to speak of - probably because most people my age either have moved to larger cities or begun raising families immediately after high school.  There is a tremendous drought of young, enthusiastic people in this city, perhaps also because ART springs from ADVERSITY, and in Midland there really isn't much of that.  Crafters, yes.  Musicians, yes.  But passion... not so much.

I miss DIFFERENCES.  I love meeting people who think and act differently (in fact, many of the people I like at the Center are those who are disliked or mocked by most of the others because they are quirky.)  It's not just racial diversity (although I miss that too), but diversity of thought and action, beliefs.  We can learn so much from people who aren't like us, and we can make ourselves better people.  I love people who are passionate about something, whether that be science or art, economics or literature.  Here I feel like most people I meet are aimless, having families and jobs (even good ones) with no commitment, no decisions.  Is that most lives?  Just a string of events that happen to you until you die?  I reject that - life is more, life is choices and change, ships passing in the night or staying forever.  Life is growth.

Frankly, I think I am living here for my unborn children.  In my head I think I have it that Midland schools are abnormally good, and that there is an abnormal amount of things for a child to do in the area.  Honestly, that may be true (I feel like I had a normal education, and many of my acquaintances and even Husband have told me horror stories about other districts) but it's silly to think of something like that when we aren't pregnant, and probably won't be for a year or two at least.  And honestly, my kids will be MINE... so they probably would have the same problems with this area that I do.

Well, this sort of turned into a rant about Midland as a whole instead of just the MCFTA... but like I said, it is pretty representative of all that this community has to offer.

I guess I am still conflicted about this city, although I have been here for so long, as a teen and an adult...  There are so many great things... but I think ultimately the problem is that, unlike so many depressed areas like Saginaw or blue collar areas like Bay City, Midland doesn't really WANT to change.